Wedding: The Anti-Drug

At a time when I thought I would be frustrated and on the verge of self-medication, I've discovered a hidden quality in myself that is helping me through this process -- Organization. When it comes down to it, I'm not the most organized person in the world and I'm definitely not the tidiest wife-to-be but I'm working on it and it's helping me keep my sanity.

There appears to be a fine line between organized and insane and I've ventured very close to it already but there are few things I've started to be very diligent about:

1. Cleaning up: I started by doing laundry and tidying my room which lead to cleaning my bathroom. I washed my dishes up immediately after I used them and headed to work where I spent a significant amount of time straightening things on my desk. *sigh* I feel better.

2. Dieting: If my space is going to be clean and tidy then I had better make sure that I fit into that space. After a little visit to the doctor, I realized that I'm dangerously close to being overweight for my height. With a wedding quickly approaching and the promise of eternity to a man with whom I wish to live to see the end of eternity, I figured I had better work on being healthy. Let's be honest, no one wants to feel fat on their wedding day, no one wants to look back and say, "Wow, look how big I was!" and most importantly, no one wants to get mistaken for a beached whale while laying out on the beach for their honeymoon. I want to wear a bikini dang-it!

3. Wedding Planning: I've sent detailed emails back and forth to everyone involved. If you haven't figured it out already, I write better than I do anything else. I can sit, I can think, I can organize my thoughts into numbered lists and into and off of spreadsheets like nobody's business. Everything that can be done right now for the wedding is finished and anytime I feel a bout of anxiety come on because I've realized that I forgot to do something, I take a deep breath and tell myself that I don't have to drop everything and do it right now; it can wait til tomorrow.

Overall, I'm feeling pretty good about myself right now. I'm eating better, I'm sleeping better, I'm working out and I haven't been drinking nearly as much coffee as I normally do (seriously! I ordered hot tea at Starbucks to go with my morning banana). Occasionally, I have a neurotic moment when someone asks me how the wedding planning is going and my brain starts questioning -- What do you mean how's the wedding planning going? How's it supposed to be going? Am I forgetting to do something? What am I supposed to be doing? Again, I stop, breath and sigh and say, "there's just not much to do right now. maybe there will be more to do when the invitations get sent out." --and that's my final answer.