Gabby's Kitchen

It's truly amazing to me that while we're celebrating all of the US victories in this year's Olympics, the biggest discussion in social media seems to be Gabby Douglas' hair. I saw this as the perfect opportunity for this Professor and former gymnast (albeit a not so good one) to speak from two of my favorite kitchens; the one in my grandmother's house and the kinky patch of hair at the nape of my neck. While I was obviously never good enough to compete in the Olympics, I did spend many long hours in the gym sweating out my blowdry.

What a lot of people don't understand is the process a black woman has to go through to straighten her hair. Many of us spend hundreds or thousands of dollars on relaxers or weekly blowdry appointments to keep our hair looking the way Nature never intended it to look. Our kinky curls are chemically treated, stretched, and heated during these lengthy appointments often to the point where the hair completely rebels by breaking and falling off or out. There's no right or wrong in this when it come to ways women of color have for getting their hair to "lay right". I've personally tried everything from flat irons and blow-dryers to the controversial Brazilian Blowout to achieve that sleek, straight look. But, no matter what I do, as soon as I start sweating away the workday, my curls revert to their natural state. 

While the chemicals, techniques, and instruments used to straighten hair have improved over the years, there is still no "good" way to get hair to look "done" all the time without managing to damage it in the process. One could argue that if all of this is causing so much damage, all women of color should just wear their hair natural. But in a society where "nappy" hair is considered by blacks and whites alike to be a sign of being lazy or unkempt, leaving ones hair to the whim of nature is easier said than done. Gabby is obviously not lazy considering all the time and effort she's put into training to compete at this level and if her hair is the one thing she's not good at doing, then I think she's still better off than most of these cantankerous, superficial, and likely overweight or unhealthy women with their perfect hair. 

The real question here, which many people including her mother are asking, is why are black women so upset about this young girl's hair? More importantly, what gives them the audacity to comment on Twitter, Facebook or even in conversation about someone they know little about? The lesson I learned in my grandmother's kitchen was that "if you don't have something nice to say, you don't say anything at all". It's not okay to talk about someone like that in such a public way with utter disregard for the fact that she is someone's child and a teenager with feelings that can be hurt by such mindless and unnecessary chatter about such a trivial subject. 

Let's take a moment to remember that important lesson and start saying positive things about others and encourage instead of discourage positive behavior. Our Olympic athletes represent the best in all of us with their smiles, their hopes and dreams, their drive to be the best, their ability to be winners and their capacity to be humble in spite of their obvious success.

My "kitchen" may not always be "clean" but at least my conscience is.